#do whatever it is Alex told me NOT to do so that he'll use me like a human punching bag

[squarebracketsmileyface]

Jay not being able to make up his mind on whether he wants Alex to be nice to him or whether he wants to antagonize him into hitting him hard, is making this chapter and absolute rollercoaster to write.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

😼😼😼 I really liked your headcanons for the Sdv+Sdve bachelor's! i think they're all super fun to read. Could you do the bachelor's reacting to a spouse whose like a mad scientist doing crazy shit like reviving a dead body with chemicals alone or growing hybrid crops, or even just laughing manically in their secret farm lab while they work on one of their crazy (and usually improbable but they still make it work) experiments again. HAVE A GOOD DAY THANK YOU :-)

This ask fits the spooky month vibe perfectly, hee hee 😈 Thank you for the ask and your kind words, hope you have a great day too! Enjoy 🫰💕

_________________________________________

You know that meme about "My hot witch wife and me doing whatever she wants"? That's how you could describe Farmer and their spouse Sam. The young guitarist was naturally surprised at first, but Farmer has so many amazing things and pots with unusual plants that it just takes your breath away. He'll even ask to be their assistant. By the way, Farmer can forget about the fact that the lab was "secret" because Sammy will post a ton of photos and selfies with his beloved spouse in front of all the reagents.

It is not new to Sebastian that Farmer was obsessed with science and mysteries, as they were constantly discussing some discoveries with his half-sister and stepfather. It's also not new to have a laboratory under their farmhouse. What Sebby didn't expect was that Farmer's place would be full of things that he doesn't know whether it's science or magic. So cool, and he's eerily curious to hear what Farmer will tell him about the new kinds of crops. Although necromancy makes him uneasy ("Is that... a zombie rats running around on the floor?"), he's generally intrigued.

Alex may not have understood most of what his spouse told him in their lab, but the athlete's gut tells that just about every object and plant in here could be a potential threat. He realizes that Farmer knows how to handle everything, and clearly loves being a scientist in addition to working in the fields, it's just... weird. And yet... Can they really bring the dead back to life? And can they bring his- No, that's wrong. Forget what Alex said. He won't mind Farmer's hobby, just... promise him to be careful.

Shane has had all sorts of strange things happen in his life. Mostly thanks can be said to Joja.co and their "special laboratory to improve the quality of products for life". Shane has only been dragged to such demonstrations once, but it was enough to last him a lifetime. So don't let Farmer be surprised that chicken man's face turned pale, because not only is the flashback, but Farmer's creations look even scarier. "They're useful!" Thanks Farmer, but Shane didn't feel any better.

Baffled by the plants he has never seen before, dumbfounded by the huge number of flasks with a rather dangerous liquid, and a little frightened by Farmer's maniacal laughter, which is the envy of any actor playing a super-villain... But with all this, Elliott tries to support the hobby of his dearest spouse, although the writer and little understands in what Farmer tells him boisterously. Plus, the whole mad scientist vibe is sure to inspire Elliott to write his first Gothic novel about the love between a mad scientist and a lonely vampire (we'll pretend we don't know who that vampire is, m'kay).

As soon as Farmer finished showing Harvey their secret laboratory, describing the experiments in detail and laughing triumphantly, the poor doctor forced a smile out of himself and gave a thumbs-up. Inside Harvey, though, everything was screaming. New kinds of plants raised a lot of doubts about whether it was safe to eat, the amount of dangerous liquids increased the desire to wrap the Farmer from head to toe in clothes protecting him from burns, and in the case of necromancy Harvey would be just speechless, considering it immoral. Really... mixed emotions, to put it kindly.

The whole Farmer's laboratory, their experiments with crops, going beyond the boundaries of science and even magic, intrigues Victor as much as it scares him. Although, to be honest, it frightens him much more. The spaghetti lover really wants to support Farmer in their hobby, but there are a few things that make him very wary. It seems that one of the books written by the adventurers stated that necromancy is forbidden. And also, Victor himself thinks it's not very ethical, soooo.... Should he be worried about Farmer's experiments?

When Lance first met his future spouse, in the depths he was a little hesitant to trust Farmer to find and grow monster crops. But after they showed him a laboratory with a huge number of very strange but quite interesting plants with unusual fruits, the gallant adventurer immediately realized that for Farmer to deal with such crops was not the first time. He would still warn about necromancy, though, for although there were still debates about whether to ban or allow this dark school, Farmer could bring trouble on themselves and others...

Aside from the fact that Farmer's wicked laughter over the table of reagents reminded Magnus of his ex-wife, who was also laughing almost like that in front of her bubbling cauldron, the wizard wasn't particularly bothered by such a quirk of his spouse. The only BUT will be if Rasmodius notices their attempts to revive the dead. Necromancy is forbidden by the Ministry of Magic, at least without official permission and a mentor to supervise at all times. Besides, showing such disrespect for the dead is simply immoral. Magnus doesn't mind Farmer's experiments, but no necromancy, or they'll be in big, big trouble.

[stripedstarsblueflags]

i didn't win the wheel: episode 7 (pt. 2)

[game ends, Logan loses but they both fumbled their way through the whole thing; they apologize for their lack of knowledge]

Logan: "It's not intentional at all, I respect–"

Alex (pointing at Logan): "Tell us about NASCAR, he'd know everything!"

Logan: 😁

this isn't the first time alex has done this and it won't be the last, but watch alex's reaction when logan loses at something. like, literally anything. when they're competing and alex is ahead, he'll tease, laugh, celebrate each little point that puts him in front of logan. but what about when the challenge is over– when it's time for somebody else to come in with the comparison? when an outside voice needs to be the one to say "alex, congrats on the win; logan, you lost"? alex is immediately averse to it. there's an old video where they're doing something similar to "who's more likely to" and the question comes up about who does better starts; i'll find it but alex absolutely fumbles through his answer. shoulders shrugging in on himself, voice getting quieter. "well um i am– i mean actually, so far, i've been... a bit better at it than, than logan has". he's fine with being the best but he's not fun with being reminded that logan is the worst. all of the sudden alex has this protective side coming out, he's literally putting an entire arm between the camera and logan, and this isn't even the first time he's stood like that during a video or a photoshoot. he shrinks into himself when he gets silly and flustered but there are these microscopic shifts and tone and he's a guard dog. like when he was the ONLY ONE to say remotely anything good or at least forgiving about logan's performance out of the whole fucking team pointing out that "He's been doing a great job in the last few races. I don't think it's really been understood because we aren't driving the same car. He's a great driver with great raw speed" (this was in late june). which, considering how the rest of the team treat logan? bold move. when logan's confident in himself– even about a stupid basketball challenge or whatever– is when alex is most comfortable. so here he steps in with a completely unrelated topic, even though he's been surprisingly quiet this whole video (for alex) to remind everyone, "hey, this isn't his area of expertise, but don't fucking underestimate him he will blow you out of the water with nascar facts".

Alex: "So, the prizes are, Logan– it's a spark model car..."

this. fucking. moment. this is right after alex has done his little nascar-themed pick me up, and there's actually a sudden cut in the video at this moment so who knows maybe there was just the beginnings of a nascar tangent going on and they needed a little redirection (with how much redirection these two need on-screen it's surprising they get any footage at all). but what's just happened is that alex has taken ANY chance of logan being told "you lost" or "you didn't make it" into a little ego-boost instead. and logan pulls an alex then, laughing suddenly and unexpectedly like whoaa i did not expect to be feeling these feelings and looking down in the middle of what he was trying to say. they switch back and forth between roles so comfortably, so seamlessly, it's like you can't even describe their relationship in clearly defined roles because they take turns looking after each other.

hand-on-the-hip-leaning-over-the-table-to-gaze-helplessly-into-each-other's-eyes okay boys is that your signature move now?? logan has this way of following alex with his eyes, even as alex fidgets around and shifts and has so much restless energy, logan is so still and stable beside him and the contrast would make me anxious but they're comfortable and familiar with how they each occupy space and they know how to share it.

and the fact that alex says logan's name here. in the middle of his sentence. during the most administrative, the most rehearsed, the simplest (they're literally reading words off an ipad) part of the video. and it's not even akin to the way logan uses small hand gestures to shift alex's focus. logan is completely focused, he literally goes from turning to the camera/instructor to leaning into alex waiting for the moment when the wheel spins and they get to crowd close. he makes room for alex before it's even the time yet because he's ready and he's welcoming and he's anticipating that they're going to be close to each other and yep, alex leans forward and diagonal and right into the space. it's like when you make a circle out of tape on the floor and your cat immediately sits in the middle. and i don't think either of them even realize that they're doing this, that they've formed a routine within this routine. but alex saying logan's name? while logan is already focused, and also not interrupting, and while this part is supposed to be for the audience who will actually get the prizes. the fact that he interrupts himself to add the name is so indicative. it's almost as if he'd intended to say the name all along but forgot at the last second but even as they leaned in close to each other and alex made that nascar joke and they're finally at least a little bit relax alex needs to make a point. he says logan's name when he's talking directly to logan on a regular basis. i don't have to do a behavior analysis of that, right? we all know what it feels like to carry the shape of someone's name in your mouth all the time that the silence aches without them and when you get to see them and say it out loud just remind yourself that this is who you are to me? moving on.

Alex: "If you want to win that prize of a framed bodywork, make sure to check out the Williams website, williams f1 dot com, or–" (turns expectantly to Logan)

Logan (doesn't miss a beat): "–visit the app!"

Alex (laughing even as Logan steps away): "We're getting good at this!"

oh, alex. he's gonna break your heart, and it won't even be his fault.

something happened with alex over the course of this episode. blink and you miss it– well shit, i must've blinked because i definitely missed something. the last, like, twenty seconds of it. reminding the camera that they both struggled and that logan's loss doesn't mean that he isn't smart, leaning into logan as if they have a prechoreographed pose required for The Wheel, saying logan's name for literally no reason ("logan i'm trying to tell you that even though the game is over and we have to read off the cards again and they're about to end the video i still want this to be about us because there is an us when we play like this and i'm telling myself and i'm telling the world that that's what i'm getting out of this"). three minutes of a dejected confused flop of content (from the william's admin side, total fail) and suddenly alex has been hit with some lovestruck epiphany and his behavior. is more obvious. these two are not obvious with each other. charlos will openly use pet names and then insist on other pet names and perform wedding vows on a golf cart. landoscar are more subtle, but it's always been easy to read between the lines and the facial expressions give it all away anyway. but these two are not obvious withe themselves or with each other (spare the one little miracle moment of episode 4) and they're not even in a situation where being obvious is fun let alone easy. but what happened the last time we were at this point in the video? the doors closed, the lights went off. alex got like 2 seconds of the logan he cherishes and then got shut the fuck out because they'd already spun the stupid wheel, and subconsciously or not alex hasn't forgotten that. he's reaching out to logan in the middle of his sentences. because every second that passes with logan not talking is a second of logan that alex is losing, and he's trying to just drag this out and it's obvious and clumsy desparation. giving logan the cue in a way that was clearly improvised even though i know they must hate all the retakes. logan picking it up instantly. alex's face literally falling even as logan says the line because he can sense that it's fading, it's slipping, it's not working. then logan straight up leaves. before the camera turns off he's just walking away. alex's last little setup didn't work because the fucking video is over.

less actual imagery this time because there was less to work with. this episode was about 2 or 3 REALLY REALLY IMPORTANT moments that carried a lot of weight but were rare among a pretty extensive drone of statistics and depression. then again, episode 1 was pretty much the same format, and the alex and logan even from just a few months ago are not the alex and logan we have right now. i think alex is more aware of that than logan is and yeah.

he's gonna break it, alex.

episode 8

[missjoolee]

Always Come Take Me Down

The barest hint of a snore coming from where Julie's head is resting against his thigh is what alerts Luke that she's asleep and no longer working on lyrics. He'd been so in his own head, humming melodies and jotting them down, that it was more an afterthought sort of processing of the fact that she had been quiet for a bit now. He knows it happened, but couldn't say when. What is he supposed to do? Leave her be? Wake her up? If it were Alex or Reggie, he'd let them sleep if they had just come from home, but definitely would wake them up with a wet willy. That's not an option this time! Not when it's the girl you most definitely have feelings for. Feelings that are complicated by the fact you are dead and couldn't even touch until a few weeks ago. Oh god, he's starting to sweat. Can ghosts even sweat?

The pen in Julie's hand shifts as her grip relaxes and he realizes something he can do. Reaching over, trying his best not to jostle her, he grabs the notebook that is still propped up against the makeshift easel that is her legs. Gently prying it from under hand, he sets it on the arm of the couch on his other side. Julie shuffles for a second, her head moving into a more comfortable position. Suddenly, all of Luke's panic dissipates. How can he feel anything but lucky? He lightly brushes his fingers across her forehead, trailing along one of the many curls that currently frames her face. It reminds him of the phone cord from the kitchen phone back home. The 90s version of home. It was one of the many things not still there that he'd had to get used to when he'd started visiting his parents. How do people do it? Make phone calls without the cord to entangle their fingers in. Memories of calling all the clubs (both music and book) he could think of while winding the spiral cord around an index finger just barely too tight so that it started cutting of circulation. The realization that more loops fit around it now that he's had a growth spurt.

Shaking off the memories, his eyes focus back on the studio. Looking down, he finds that he's wrapped one of Julie's curls around his finger like the phone cord. It's softer than the weird plastic, but not as smooth. He slowly unwinds his finger, marveling that he can even do that. They still don't know what happened that night that allowed them to touch. But he was given a third chance. He'd told Julie that he'd only had one real regret in life. How he'd left things with his mom. And he hadn't lied that night, that he still had no regrets in this life. Afterlife. Whatever. It all feels the same at this point whenever he's with her. But he does know he wants to do better by her than he had at the beginning of their friendship. He wants her to know he'll always choose her. He won't bail on her and cause her to cry again. It's just not an option.

A melody drifts through his head with those thoughts and he can't help but quietly hum along as he fiddles with the ends of her hair. He was nine when the song originally came out. It wasn't exactly his scene, even at nine, but you couldn't just escape a top 40 hit in the 80s. It was everywhere. At the grocery store with his mom, on the radio, at the arcade, the bowling alley, and Reggie's house before his parents started fighting. But the more he hums, the more Luke realizes how apt the lyrics are. Everything he wants to tell Julie, promise her. It's all there in the lyrics of this song that feels only seven years old but is actually... crap. Thirty-three years old. Is this really their life?

The lyrics slip out of him in a soft lullaby as he continues gently brushing her hair away from her temples.

"We're no strangers to love You know the rules and so do I"

He pauses at the next lines. Asking for a full commitment in their current state is probably too much, even if he does think he could give her better than any other guy. Her friend Nick pops into his head. He's been coming by a lot since the Orpheum. No, that's not the point right now. The point is communicating how he feels about her. He skips those lines.

"I just wanna tell you how I'm feeling Gotta make you understand"

Here he puts all his intent into the words, pledging them to her. Never again will he be the reason she feels alone and abandoned.

"Never gonna give you up Never gonna let you down Never gonna run around and desert you Never gonna make you cry Never gonna say goodbye Never gonna tell a lie and hurt you"

Slender fingers latch onto his and Julie lets out a deep, content, sigh. Her eyes peek open and look up at him and he can't help the smile that shines down on her.

Her own voice is low and quiet with sleep when she asks, "Did you just rickroll me?"

Luke's smile turns to confusion.

"What's a rickroll?"

[hozaloza]

I'm forcing everyone to look at my Cranes pet/animal hcs Jasmine has a dog, cat and snake.

Thomas has a cat

Jasmine forced Thomas to make their cats have a play date. it was a success in Jasmine's words.

Thomas's cat is an orange and white tabby named Daisy.

Jasmine's pet names are: Dog- Mushu Cat- Meowvrick (He's a black cat with long fur, she had to name him after her boss <:sobbingBoss:1183934764386898000> ) Snake- Mr. Snoodle (She let her friend Jenifer pick this name. She regrets it afterwards 💀)

Jasmine used to have a big fluffy dog when she was a little kid. She was old but still energetic. She absolutely loved her. Sadly one day while on a walk, an unleashed dog tried attacking little Jasmine. Luckily her dog was there and defended her. Unfortunately, while her dog won, she was left heavily injured. She carried her back home (with struggle) and tried to help her, but it was too late. It took a lot of years after to get a new dog since she was heart broken

Jasmine kept a lot of centipedes in a little bucket and gave them names. They would always die and she cried every time (she was like 9) ((also she held funerals for them and completely forgot about them afterwords))

In 7th grade she went over to Thomas's house and saw that he had a pet bird. She loved spending her time with Cracker (Thomas named him 💀)

Oh yeah, Thomas had a pet bird named Cracker. He named him when he was 10.

Thomas would always bring home the most scrungkliest feral cats, and his parents would force him to let them back outside (he always cried bc he loved them a lot, even if they scratched his face up)

Jasmine and Ryan would always help him capture these cats. Mainly Ryan bc he knew what he was doing.

Ryan had a pet horse who he still visits to this day (horse was a baby when he got him)

Ryan is scared of every dog except his tiny little dachshund who he named Snake (he grew out of this fear eventually)

Ryan loved turtles as a kid. He had a pet turtle named Hank (they were kids ok--)

Ryan didn't like Thomas's bird as a kid (he bit his finger) Every time Ryan went to his cousin's house, he would immediately hide from their heeler dog (they lived on a ranch) Once while on the trampoline, his cousin's dog got on and Ryan started freaking out, struggling to get away since he was laying down.

He hates the rooster on his cousin's family ranch

Ryan took horse riding lessons

Maverick has a black axolotl who he named Latte (haha reference)

When Maverick was little, he was constantly surrounded by birds and other rain forestly type animals. He took care of 2 Scarlet Macaws that frequently visited his childhood home, a pet Capybara named Stinkle, and an Iguana named Chico

Maverick loves animals, give him a cat to play with and he melts immediately "Awhhh, aren't you a stinky little thing?? Yeah you don't like me, but I don't care. No one likes me either way!!" "Boss, we have to give the cat back" "No, she's mine now." "Boss--" "Ryan, can't you see we're bonding??" He says as the furious little kitten is biting him

Maverick is scared of horses (a horse licked him when he was little)

He LOVES cranes. He absolutely loves them. It's been his dream to have one as a pet, but sadly the only cranes that lives in the states is the sandhill crane and whooping crane, and they're illegal to own as pets. (He'll get one eventually)

When he got to see a crane up close once, his fixiation started HARD. Bring up a crane in discussion and he'll list off all the facts about them from the top of his head.

The crane trio gave him the axolotl for his birthday. Maverick didn't like aquatic type animals, so he was sorta pissed at first. But when he saw the axolotl was black, he fell in love. "You got me a fish…?" "Well, not really, it's an axolotl!" "…Whatever it is, I don't want that disgusting--" Sees it's black "….You're my baby now. I'm naming you Latte. I'll build an entire ecosystem for you, and we'll talk about cranes together." "…Told you he'll love it."

Alex is scared of cats (he got chased by an orange kitten when he was little)

He really likes Cheetahs, their swiftness intrigue him

He really wants a pet dog, but never found the time to make room for one (his job 💔 )

When Ryan and Alex move in together after this hell, Ryan got him a Golden Shepard breed, and Alex loved her (he cried when he held her in his arms)

Alex and Ryan are dog parents

They got a Doberman after

Crows are fairly fond of Alex, they constantly bring him little shiny jewels since he feeds them

------------------------

That's all I have for now </3

[anincompletelist]

2023 writing roundup :D

hi all! thank you to @hgejfmw-hgejhsf @rockyroadkylers @songliili @littlemisskittentoes for the tags on this! I loved getting to go back through all of the works you guys have shared with us this year (and hearing about some of your upcoming projects as well!)

I realized that I did do a year in review post, but that was mostly stats, so I figured I'd participate in this one as well since it'd be nice to have all of my fics linked in one place for organizational purposes!

thank you guys for everything this year, I can't wait for all that's coming in the next one! <3

sarah / anincompletelist xx

Sure As The Stars in the Sky | E | 20k

It shouldn't matter that Alex has been present for each and every one of Henry's most important life milestones, sometimes the singular catalyst for them. It shouldn't be important that he's grown to be more familiar to Henry than even some of his own family members, that part of him is burrowed so deeply into Henry's subconscious that he can taste it sometimes, that even when Alex crashes in, spirited and passionate, it feels like an easy exhale; like coming home. It shouldn't matter, but it does.

praying our bridges don't make waves | E | 82k

When June gets sick, Alex knows he'll do whatever it takes to make sure she gets the care that she needs. Even if that means convincing his nemesis/sexuality-crisis-inducing/clandestine hook-up partner/somewhat of an actual friend to pretend to be his soulmate in order to pull it off. It's both more and less complicated than it sounds.

kiss me like you've got nowhere to be | M | 3k

In the three years they’ve lived together, he thinks it’s safe to say that he and Alex have gotten… close. The kind of close that other people like to point out sometimes when they’re in public, and not just their overinvolved older sisters and overly suggestive friends. A few of Alex’s colleagues have made comments when Henry shows up at the holiday parties or after a stressful work day to make sure Alex is eating and staying hydrated, just the same as Henry’s clients each know little bits of odd Alex-facts that he lets slip sometimes in his sessions. Regardless, it’s all terribly domestic, and the twinge of satisfaction Henry gets when Alex’s dates don’t go well is most definitely not appropriate, even if they are kind of in a weird, probably mostly platonic, very codependent relationship. If he’s not careful, Henry’s going to get himself so, so hurt one of these days.

I feel the beating of your heart, I see the shadows on your face | M | 18k

It’s certainly not what Alex would have predicted a few days prior. If someone had told him he’d be tenderly embracing his self-imposed enemy after switching bodies with him for seventy-two hours and embarking on an unintentional journey of self discovery and then finally finding their way back to each other to ask for a True Love’s Kiss that may or may not break the curse that flipped their lives upside down - Well, Alex would have told them to fuck off.

but I can count on you to tell me the truth when (I've) been drinking and you're wearing a mask | M | 8k

The room goes quiet again, Alex too focused on the sound of his own breathing. He’s already started, he figures, and the person still hasn’t left. But this next bit is a little more personal, and Alex isn’t positive what the parameters are for one-sidedly conversing with a masked stranger about your best kept secrets at a halloween party when you’re so drunk that the floor is beginning to look like it may open up and swallow you whole. Isn’t sure if that might be better anyway.

who ya gonna call? | M | 7k

Henry is a ghostwriter. Alex is a little confused on what exactly that means.

I'll bet it all on me and you, I'll bet it all you're bulletproof | M | 11k

“Let’s do this,” he says. “Let’s,” Alex agrees, pushing down on the handle until the door swings open. “After you, boyfriend.” This is most definitely not his finest idea. Henry usually practices much better self preservation skills. Much better common senseskills. He steps over the threshold of Alex’s room and it feels like sealing his fate. They’re doing this for Alex to win over their bosses in a lighthearted game with a harmless lie, but Henry can’t fight off the bitter knowledge that, regardless of how tonight goes, Alex will be fine, but Henry has so much to lose.

(+ listen to the podfic here!)

but if you could see us from a distance you'd know I've always been so close to you | E | 10k

Objectively, standing half-soaked from rainwater with a stitch in his side and an uncomfortable, raging hard-on outside his worst enemy’s door is not Henry’s finest moment. It’s not even on the list. [or, henry is afflicted with a curse-gone-wrong that stipulates that only his sworn enemy, alex claremont-diaz, can touch him.]

you make it look so easy, I know it's not | T+ | 8k

Bea’s to his left, speaking frantically on the phone with who Henry hopes is the fire brigade or someone else trained to deal with these— situations. In front of him, Pez is fumbling frustratedly with the water hose, showcasing his colorful vocabulary with a flourish of jerky hand movements and chaotic pacing. On either side of the fence, his neighbors are peaking over the sides to ask if everything’s okay, and Henry feels the resolution to make a good first impression crumbling and slipping rapidly out of his grasp. Even David watches on from inside the house, his sage eyes and patriotic bowtie appraising the scene and looking back to Henry as if to say I told you so. And the fryer — the fryer itself is up in flames, thick gray smoke swirling up into the air and soaring high above the tree line now. In the distance, the echo of sirens. Henry may faint right here, in the middle of his backyard at his new home before he's even unpacked, with all the neighbors and his family and friends watching on, on his first official American Thanksgiving. It is, by all means, not what he’d envisioned for the day.

somehow I'd get by (part one) | E | 13k

Henry should have known, probably, that accepting a job offer from Pez would have its nuances. It’s his own fault that he hadn’t asked more questions, that he hadn’t regarded it as a red flag when he’d had to sign several very thick NDA’s at the onboarding, when Pez had smiled so big and so secretively when they went out to celebrate afterward that Henry had to physically look away from it. Though he’s new to the city, he’d thought that working as an accountant wouldn’t offer all that many opportunities for any sort of overly odd, eclectic jobs. So he’d shown up on his first day at the provided address, a big, nondescript brick building in front of him with a duffel bag full of his sign-on papers, his computer, and a framed photo of his dog, David, ready to take up its rightful place on yet another boring, blank desk. He’d made it all of two steps inside the door before realizing that he’d just accepted a contract working for some kind of sex club. He’d stood his ground despite the burning flush that bloomed on his cheeks and then, miraculously, he’d stayed.

take my hand if you can take me as I am | E | 14k

It would hurt less, Alex guesses, if he wasn’t head over heels for the guy he’s supposed to be fucking through an ancient one-sided sex curse with that was partially — a lot, actually — his own fault. But. It’s not like there’s a fucking handbook. Alex has looked. 

if you take a life, do you know what you'll give? | M | 9k

It would have been one thing had Alexander’s job description been simply to stay in his hotel room and operate the funds covertly, an exceedingly safe distance away from Henry and any of Le Chiffre’s men. As it is, they’d instructed Alex to play the part of Henry’s date for the night, subsequently granting him the access he’d need to the private cardroom within the casino in order to report back to headquarters the funds needed in the precise moment Henry would need them. It's too dangerous, and he knows it. Henry's had a lot of blood on his hands in this life, but he refuses to have Alex's as well.

miles to go, but we're almost home | M | 5k

Texas is a bit of a last minute decision. As in, at the actual last minute, Henry had begged them at the station for whatever ticket they had left to get out of the city, shoved his credit card at them expeditiously, and promptly boarded the vessel just as the doors slid closed behind him. Turns out it’s the best decision he’s ever made.

something borrowed, something blue | (to begin posting jan 1!)

dom!alex part two

dom!henry

+

THANK YOU THANK YOU THANK YOU ALL FOR BEING HERE TO WITNESS ME SCREAM INTO THE VOID! this space has meant so much to me since I first read the book when it came out, but even more so once I started writing again these last few months. 2022/2023 was a very long, very lonely time in my life and I just didn't have words for a while. when the movie came out, I remembered how much I loved the book and finally opened a blank page again! I needed an outlet, and I found so much more than that <3

PLEASE consider this an open tag to brag on yourselves, but also (no pressure) --

@firenati0n @affectionatelyrs @kiwiana-writes @daisymae-12 @read-and-write- @inexplicablymine @happiness-of-the-pursuit @heybuddy-drabbles @wordsofhoneydew @nocoastposts @firstsprinces @sparklepocalypse @ninzied @getmehighonmagic @iboatedhere @magicandarchery @matherines @zwiazdziarka @raysletters @cricketnationrise @xthelastknownsurvivorx @gayrootvegetable @lizzie-bennetdarcy @eusuntgratie @whimsymanaged @priincebutt @duchessdepolignaca03 @leojfitz @user-anakin @anchoredarchangel @tinyarmedtrex @rmd-writes

cheers to a wonderful year, friends! I am so grateful for all of you and for this space that we've created to share and connect with each other and the art that inspires us. here's hoping 2024 has a lot more of that! <333

xx

[turtleshelf]

Once again rereading Red, White and Royal Blue so enjoy some of my favorite lines and a few thoughts I had while reading <3

'RULE #1: DON'T GET CAUGHT'

"Well, you don't have to like him, you just have to put on a happy face and not cause an international incident at his brother's wedding." right yes good, so about that...

I'm obsessed with Cash's full name being Cassius

'"Do either of you know what a viscount is?" ... "I think it's that thing when a vampire creates an army of crazed sex waifs and starts his own ruling body."'

'When he got his first girlfriend, she made a PowerPoint presentation' I love Ellen, she's been the same he whole life, queen.

'Shaan is on the phone with Portugal' is absolutely my favorite line in the whole book.

'He just... Well, he gets told he's great a lot. He just doesn't often get told he's good enough'

'Then he thinks: If there was a prince, and he was gay, and he kissed someone, and maybe it mattered, that prince might have to run a bit of interference. And in one mercurial swing, Alex is not just angry anymore. He's sad too.'

'... where people are to busy mingling and listening to music to notice Alex frog-marching an heir to the throne out of the dining room' This paints such a vivid and hysterical picture.

'Henry is one talented bastard, a man of many hidden gifts, Alex muses half-hysterically. A true prodigy. God Save the Queen'

"... She still listens, and she tries, and she wants us to be happy. But I don't know if she has it in her anymore to be a part of anyone's happiness."

'How he realized by the time he was four that every person in the country knew his name, and how he told his mother he didn't know if he wanted them to, and how she knelt down and told him she'd let nothing touch him, not ever'

'... Two parentheses enclosing 3,700 miles.'

'He keeps staring at them, hoping if he recites them enough time in his head, he'll figure out how to feel like he's doing enough.'

'"Good morning, strumpet." Henry say, glancing away from the road to wink at the camera'

As a leftist that lives in and loves the fuck out of a red state, Alex's argument with Hunter in chapter eight is so healing tbh. "You think y'all are off the hook for institutional bigotry because you come from a blue state. Not every white supremacist is a meth-head in Bumfuck, Mississippi--there are plenty of them at Duke or UPenn on Daddy's money." Alex in this scene is so important to understanding red state democrats and liberals. Please please please go read the full scene again.

'He remembers, as if from a million miles away, telling Henry once not to overthink this.'

'It's rare anyone other than June goes out of their way to check on him. It's by his own design, mostly, a barricade of charm and fitful monologues and hard-headed independence. Henry looks at him like he's not fooled by any of it.'

Besties whatever you do Do Not listen to Haunted by Taylor Swift while reading Alex and Henry's almost breakup in chapter ten omg.

Taking up irl royal watching has made me inexplicably violent to seeing "The Daily Mail" in this book. They're actually awful irl if you were wondering.

"Alex. I don't want to do this."

"... You and me and history, remember? We're just gonna fucking fight. Because you're it, okay?..."

'He wants to set himself on fire but he can't afford for anyone to see him burn'

'This is the damage you cause, Alex, it all seems to say, right there in hard facts and figures. This is who you hurt.'

'Alex hasn't been a good Catholic on a long time, but he knows confession is a sacrament. They were supposed to stay safe.'

'"Oh, love," she says simply. "he misses Dad."'

"... On purpose. I love him on purpose."

[marmorafarms]

Gridball Jerseys and Cigarettes, Chapter 2

Hey guys, and welcome to the second chapter of my Sebastian x Alex fic! So glad you're here reading it! The chapter list is below, so you can read from the beginning if you're just joining!

Ch. 1

Summary: Alex has had a crush on Sebastian ever since they were kids. Their friendship fell apart, but Alex is determined to fix it. Will their relationship work? Or is it doomed to fail due to Alex's Grandfather's strict views?

Word count: 2,423 words

Warnings: cigarette use, alcohol consumption

Chapter Rating: T for Teen

"What are those?" Alex asked, as his blue-haired friend skidded to a halt in front of him. She had quite literally run over to him with what looked like pieces of paper in her hand. He tossed his gridball in the air a few times while he waited for a reply.

"Tickets!" Emily said with a toothy grin. "To see Goblin Destroyer!"

"Who?" Alex asked, face scrunching in concentration. "Oh! Sebastian's band!"

Emily rolled her eyes. "I can't believe you forgot their name," she said and thrust one of the tickets at him. Alex took it and stared.

"We've never had to have tickets before," he said, looking at Emily quizzically. Goblin Destroyer had played plenty of times down on the beach. Gus would serve drinks, and everyone would gather around and listen to them play. It was always a guaranteed good time.

"That's because they only played in Pelican Town. But this time, they landed a gig in Zuzu City!" Emily clapped her hands in excitement.

"In Zuzu City?" Alex gasped, eyes wide. "That's a big deal!"

"Sure is!" Emily said. "So you're going, right? I bought that ticket for you."

Alex bit his lip. It would be great to see Sebastian play. They hadn't crossed paths since the smoke blowing incident (Emily said it was called "shotgunning") and Alex was having a difficult time trying to figure out how to casually meet up with him.

Maybe they could meet up after the concert. He could compliment Sebastian on his playing. That could lead to an actual conversation, right?

"I dunno…I'll have to ask my grandparents…" Alex said nervously.

"It was $90," Emily said, "Per ticket. Non-refundable."

"Oh hey, grandma? Grandpa?" Alex said, putting his hand to his ear like a phone. "You're suddenly okay with me going to the city late at night with no supervision? Amazing! Can't believe it! Good news Emily," he said, putting his hand down, "I can go."

Emily clapped her hands together excitedly. "This is gonna be so much fun! And don't worry about your grandparents, okay? Haley and I came up with a special plan."

Alex frowned. These two sisters were downright dangerous when they put their heads together to come up with a plan. Mischief wasn't something Haley was usually up for, but when Emily planted an idea in her head, things could get intense.

"It's nothing bad!" Emily said quickly. 

"That's what you said when you allowed Léo to modify the Mayor's boxers with your sewing machine!"

"Lucky purple shorts," Emily amended. "And they turned out lovely. That gold trim made them look so fancy!"

"Yeah, but Mayor Lewis was furious!" Alex retorted.

"Well, I'm sure he'll get over it when he has a special guest over who gets to admire them," Emily said, wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. 

"I hate that you just made me think of the Mayor doing the do with–"

"Did you really just say "doing the do" instead of saying sex?" Emily said with a snort. "Are you twelve?"

"Look, we're way off track!" Alex said, flustered. "Whatever plan you and Haley have cooked up is probably crazy!"

"It isn't though!" Emily insisted. "Haley told you about our parents deciding to ditch us again for Winter Star, right?"

"If by "tell me" you mean slamming my bedroom door open, flopping onto my bed, and screaming into my pillow without stopping for a full 60 seconds…then yes, she told me," Alex said. It had been a very strange experience, but Alex had done his best to comfort her.

"Yeah, she was pretty pissed when they backed out and decided not to come to Pelican Town. So they sent us some "Sorry we're shit parents" gifts. I got a serger, and Haley got a vintage Polaroid camera!" Emily said. Alex waited patiently for her to continue. He wasn't sure where she was going with this.

"So we thought that you could tell your grandparents that you want to get Haley a super special gift for Winter Star! We'll just say it took a while to find the perfect gift. And when they ask to see what you got…you'll show them the Polaroid camera! Nobody in town knows she has it yet!" Emily looked rather pleased with herself, and honestly, Alex thought the plan was a pretty good one.

"Alright," Alex said. "That should work."

“It will work,” Emily said firmly. “Just…make sure to keep the fact that you’re going to the concert on the down low, yeah?”

“Right,” Alex said with a nod. He wouldn’t want someone to accidentally let slip that he was going to a concert. His grandparents meant well, but they were a bit overprotective. Scratch that, very overprotective. He was 23 years old, and they still treated him like he was 16. It was infuriating. Going to the city shouldn’t be an issue. And while they technically couldn’t stop him from going out, his grandfather had locked him out of the house one night when he stayed at the spa until 10 pm.

The day before the concert arrived, and Haley had insisted that instead of meeting by the bus stop, he should meet at her and Emily's house.

"I need to approve your outfit," she had said, looking dead serious. "I can't have you embarrassing Pelican Town by wearing something ridiculous."

So Alex found himself walking into their home, door unlocked as always when Haley knew Alex would be coming over.

"I'm here!" Alex called out.

"Alex!" Haley said happily, emerging from her bedroom. She stopped short and stared at him.

"What?" Alex said nervously.

"What in gay hell," Haley murmured, eyes flicking over him from top to bottom. "You can't wear that."

"What's wrong with my outfit?" Alex asked defensively.

"You absolutely cannot wear a gridball jersey and loose fitting jeans to a rock concert!" Haley said, exasperated. "Emily! Get over here right now!"

Emily walked out of the bathroom and Alex gulped. Okay, maybe he wasn't dressed appropriately. Emily was wearing a tight black tanktop with the words "Hell's Belles" on it. Her tight black jeans had a studded belt through the loops, and her Doc Martens looked fantastic.

"Oh fuck no," Emily said, and Alex crossed his arms, letting out a huff of annoyance.

"I can't change now!" Alex said. "I'll have to just go in this."

"Nope, no, no you won't," Emily said. "Let me grab you something."

Alex laughed. "You're a twig!" he said. "How the hell will I fit into your clothes?"

Emily ignored him, and brought out a pair of skinny jeans that definitely weren't hers, a white shirt, and a leather jacket.

"The jacket and jeans are left over from a fitting I did with Shane," she said. "Though he ended up in something uh…well anyway. The shirt is mine. It's like a dress on me, but it should fit you."

It was tight. No matter how baggy Emily had claimed it was, it left nothing to the imagination when it came to his chest and abs.

"These jeans," he grumbled, coming out of the bathroom, "have almost no space in the crotch! I hate them!"

"Suck it up, you look great!" Haley said. 

"Yes, that's more like it," Emily said approvingly. "Now let's go!"

They raced to the bus stop quickly, hoping that nobody would catch sight of them and rat Alex out. They made it without incident, exhaling in relief when they saw Pam wasn't driving the bus tonight. She wasn't one to tell on anyone, but still. She sometimes had loose lips when she got drunk at the Saloon.

Alex bought the bus tickets, determined to pay for everything. Emily had spent quite a lot of cash on the concert tickets after all. He had tried to pay her back for them, but she refused, saying that if he bought her drinks and food at the concert, she’d consider it repaid.

“Are you sure I look okay?” Alex had said, glancing at Emily as they sat down.

“Have you seen the looks you’re getting?” Emily said with a grin. “Everyone on this bus is checking you out. You look fantastic!”

Alex nodded. He had noticed people looking at him, but was still concerned. He was planning on trying to meet with Sebastian backstage, and he was worried he looked ridiculous.

“Well…okay,” Alex said. The bus ride was a long one, and Alex was relieved when he finally got to get off the bus. He stretched, and then he and Emily made their way to the venue.

They were playing in a large park-like area. Apparently, it was a large space owned by the brewery nearby. This brewery would be providing the food and drink for the concert, and Emily was thrilled at the idea that the beer wouldn’t taste terrible.

“It always tastes like someone pissed in my drink,” she said.

“Maybe they did,” Alex teased, and Emily made a face.

The beer was excellent, and they even managed to score some decent snacks before finding a spot to sit. They had come early enough to where they’d be able to sit nearby the stage. Alex wondered if Sebastian would see him from the stage, but guessed that his friend wouldn’t actually be looking into the audience.

When the opening act came on stage, Emily’s shirt suddenly made a lot more sense. The band was an AC/DC cover band that was made up of all women. They were called “Hells Belles” and apparently Emily was a huge fan.

“They’re amazing, you’ll see!” she said in excitement.

Emily was right, they were amazing. They played each song perfectly, and somehow managed to make them sound better than the originals! Alex clapped and whooped after they finished, and was slightly disappointed to see them go. But those feelings immediately evaporated when Goblin Destroyer came on stage.

Emily giggled at the look on Alex’s face when Sebastian walked out. There was no other way to say it, he looked sexy.

Sebastian was known for his baggy hoodies, but right now? He was wearing practically the opposite, if that was a thing. His shirt was ripped and tight, showing off his well defined arms and…collar bone piercings? Alex didn’t even know that was a thing, but he was so glad it was.

He gulped as he spotted hip piercings, shown off by his low slung skinny jeans. Since when did Sebastian have all these piercings? He knew about the lip, ears, and eyebrow piercings, but the rest? Alex swallowed thickly. Sebastian typically didn’t put his lip and eyebrow jewelry in, but he was wearing it tonight. God, Alex wished he wore them every day. He looked amazing.

“Put your eyes back into your head, you completely missed everything Sam just said!” Emily hissed.

“Oh,” Alex said sheepishly, realizing that she was right. He hadn’t even registered that Sam was speaking at all.

When they began to play, a wide grin split Alex’s face in two. He knew he enjoyed their music, but it was much tamer in Pelican town. But the songs they were playing now were far more intense. The music was louder, and they played like they meant it, none of them worried about how they would be perceived.

And the lyrics were very different. Swear words and sexual innuendos were in practically every song. Jas and Vincent often attended the Pelican Town concerts, so they never played songs like this. Alex was loving it, and really getting into the music. Emily was as well, and they both found themselves dancing and shouting.

Alex noticed Emily dancing with a few people, but he wasn’t sure how to feel when he was approached. Usually, he would be all for it, but he felt weird, dancing with someone when he was here to see the guy he was interested in playing. 

Intermission finally came, and Alex found himself being forcefully dragged to the stage by Emily. He let himself be pulled, but was confused by what she was doing. She had given no explanation, simply grabbing his wrist and running.

“ABIGAIL!” Emily screamed out as the band was making their way offstage. Abigail was the drummer, and stopped when she heard her name. She looked very surprised at someone knowing her by name, and looked into the audience. Surprise was written all over her face when she saw Emily and Alex standing there.

“Holy shit!” Abigail said, looking very happy. “Come over here! Sam and Seb will definitely want to see you guys! Hell, I’m excited to see you guys!”

Alex didn’t think twice about following the two chattering girls backstage, but was suddenly overcome with a wave of fear when he realized exactly what was about to go down. He was about to see his crush, who looked sexy as hell, and was supposed to act natural? Alex didn’t even manage to act natural with his first attempt at conversation with Sebastian, how was he supposed to do so now?

“Hey guys!” Abigail shouted out, “Look who��s here!”

Sam and Sebastian looked over from where they were standing. Since the backstage area was outside, Sebastian had a cigarette, and had just taken a long drag from it before looking over. His eyebrows shot up, looking just as surprised as Abigail had.

Sebastian looked even better close up, and Alex found himself unable to take his eyes off of the man before him. Words died in his throat as Emily began to speak to them. How long was too long to look at someone for? Alex forgot.

“Nice to see you Alex,” Sebastian said in his raspy voice. He gave Alex a small smile, before looking at Emily. “You too, Em,” he said. “Can’t believe you guys are here.”

“You guys should totally have some drinks with us after the show!” Sam said excitedly. “We were just going to celebrate our first totally legit gig with some tequila shots, but just with us three. It’ll be way more fun if you guys join in!”

Emily expressed her interest straight away, but Alex was more hesitant. His eyes flicked to Sebastian, who was looking at him. It was hard to tell what the expression was on his face. That man was hard to read.

“You’re gonna join us, right?” Sebastian finally said.

“Of course!” Alex said, caving. How could he say no to such a pretty face? 

Sebastian smiled once more, and Alex practically melted. Okay, he had to go now. And he found himself pretty excited about it.

[deathsprofit]

💦 to walk in on my muse masturbating. //Pchan @ War Boyz ( i've fallen in love w/ them all, how dare u ky )

"What the hell you mean after two weeks?!" Ghost yelled at his teammates. They told him that the vice captain Philip -whos now in charge cause the captain was away - didn't want to meet nor let go of the tress passer until the captain is back. Thus till then Ghost is completely in charge of taking care of the civilian. The rage that filled Ghost was unbelievable. He was about to go kill the vice captain if his mates didn't stop him. A procedure that shouldn't take few minutes gonna take two weeks just because that jerk wanted to make things difficult for Ghost.

His teammates offered to do the task instead but Ghost refused he said he'll complete the task he was assigned to. Then Alex and the rest of the team went to apologize to Pchan telling him it's not under their control but they promised him to treat him like part of the team until he make it out of here. Alex told him he is free to call anyone he wants to tell them he's ok and that if ghost ever be mean to him the team will punish Ghost. The masked man gave an eyeroll at the statement. But he kind of appreciate how Pchan was understanding cause if it was him he would probably be yelling by now. Which made ghost determined on helping him to get out of this place as soon as he could.

Everyone suggested it's time to just call it a day. They all needed rest especially ghost who been up for God knows how many days. "Follow me" he tells Pchan and takes him to his room. Once the door was closed behind them he turned around to face the other and talk to him. " Alright so here's the deal. If any kind of bullcrap happens in two weeks and they don't let you go. I will sneak you out myself in away they can't catch you. But do me a favor and don't try to escape until then because if they did you might spend years in jail." Ghost explained and once the other agreed he started to tell him how things will work here.

" This will be our room. We gonna have to share the bed or you feel free to take the pillow and the sheets to sleep on the floor. This is the door to the toilet. The shower room and the dining room are shared by everyone here I'll show you tomorrow. Don't go outside without me. You can do whatever you like in this room feel free to keep lights on or not." He explained trying not to sound exhausted. Taking of the extra parts of his clothes until he was down to a shirt and boxers, Ghost doesn't take off his mask until he was already in bed. He doesn't look at Pchan while doing so. Using his arm a pillow he left it with the blanket for the other to do whatever.

💦 to walk in on my muse masturbating. //Pchan @ Ghost

Couple of days passed everything went so smooth. Everyone seem to be happy about having a guest in the base it's all going great. The only issue would be is that ghost's sexual tension was extremely at it's peek. He is normally horny but never to the point he couldn't control it. It felt like being around Pchan has provoked his sexual desires to beyond his control. Did he just fall for this guy out of no where? He tried to resist it at his best. He's a soldier for Goodness sake! On top of caging a civilian he is now gonna use him for sexual pleasure. Ghost cursed himself on the inside and decided to resist that urge. One night though he couldn't sleep, pchan was napping in the small bed with him where ghost couldn't help it anymore, He needed to relieve that erection in his pants.

He went to the washroom but forgot to lock the door. Back resting against the wall, pants dropped to his knees and mask lifted half way off his face. The soldier began to stroke his massive erection to relieve himself. But things didn't work as normally does. He was extremely horny yet unable to bring himself to come. His desperate exhales and grunts filled the washroom as he closed his eyes and tried to think about Pchan cause for some reason it was helping him a bit. However when he opened his eyes for a second he saw none other than Pchan himself standing right in front of him. His hand stopped and face turned all in red. Damn it did he just forget to lock the door?! What an idiot!! He thought of himself. "Pretend you saw nothing.." he said pulling up his pants but it won't fit with his big erection on the way. "M-move.." face red as if he had fever but the other won't move. His eyes met with Pchan's only to see that lustful glare in the shiny pink hues. Ghost swallowed feeling his heart racing as if he realized the other won't just let him leave in peace.

[knickynoo]

Part 2 of the "A, My Name is Alex" Deep (Deep) Dive

Still under a cut. Picking up right where part 1 (linked here) ended.

Alex's therapist really wants him to expand on why it's so hard to be him. "Because I'm better. Smarter," Alex finally tells him.

He has a brief moment of confidence here--that ol' familiar APK arrogance making an appearance. He does think that he's better and smarter than pretty much everybody around him, but that belief didn't come out of nowhere. It's at this point that we get a scene showing a typical school day for 7-year-old Alex. Another light hits the stage, revealing a teacher standing in the background. "I'll bet Alex knows the answer," she calls.

"Don't do that to me, Mrs. Leahy," Alex says, which the teacher pays no mind to. She tells him to answer the question she had posed to the class. They have this exchange.

Hehehe, now we're getting inside Alex's head. After this, his teacher goes on to address the "class" further, telling them to listen up to what Alex is about to say and that she wishes they could ALL be like him. Alex momentarily comes out of the memory to speak to the therapist about it.

“I hated when she did that! She’d call on me in that old maid teacher’s voice: 'Alex knows, Alex knows.' I was seven years old! You don’t put that kind of pressure on a kid that age! I knew I had to be ready because she was counting on me. Pushing me.”

He immediately returns to the memory, where he proceeds to spout off the exact answer his teacher had been looking for because what else could a kid possibly do in that situation but give in? It's a small glimpse, but the whole scenario has weight to it. From the moment Alex entered school, he faced this kind of pressure from his teachers to perform "on command," living up to his intelligence. Remember when he said he was blindfolded in nursery school when they discovered he could identify coins by their sounds? Now, maybe Alex enjoyed the game. Maybe he was thrilled by the attention from his teachers and peers. But it does sort of strike me as another instance of Alex being a "side-show" of sorts. Like, "Oh hey, Alex can do this weird thing with coins. Let's make him show us," and "Alex, I know you know the answer to this. Now tell the class," both feel similar.

Whatever the case, Alex was deeply impacted by that environment. He was constantly told he was better than the others, and eventually, he believed it. He was constantly told that the social isolation and teasing he faced was the price to pay for being special, and so that became an accepted fact. He always had to be at the top of his game, ready to answer any question thrown his way so that he could make his teacher proud. Oh hey, remember "Hot Line Fever" when Alex talks about how he's scared that if he doesn't constantly push himself to be the best that he'll "be nothing"? Remember the episode where he fails his first ever assignment and is so distraught that he wants to drop out of college and is convinced he's an idiot not worthy of education?

THANKS, MRS. LEAHY.

We go then to a beautiful little memory between Steven and 5-year-old Alex. Steven wants to teach Alex to play catch since he's about to be starting kindergarten, but Alex doesn't want to because he's "not very good at it." Steven explains that he can't expect to learn it all in one day, and Alex points out that he learned algebra all in one day. You've probably seen me mention this Alex Fact before because I love it. The kid taught himself ALL OF ALGEBRA in a single day.

Steven pushes Alex to give their game of catch another try, telling him he's got to learn before he starts school, but it doesn't come across as a father who's obsessed with his son being good at sports or anything. You get more of the sense that Steven just wants Alex to have at least one skill typical of a kid his age so that he doesn't just stand there on the playground trying to rope his peers into conversations about the stock market or something. A very valid concern. Steven offers to take him to a baseball game too, but Alex doesn't want to go because the team, while in first place, isn't doing well financially.

"In terms of cash flow, the Orioles are the team to beat this year. [...] Their TV revenues are up 15%. Ticket prices up 7%; these guys are doing great," Alex tells his father, proving exactly why he desperately needs to be taught how to catch a ball if he's going to have a fighting chance at fitting in and making friends. Neurodivergence is a cruel mistress. They go on to play.

It's all very sweet and brings Alex and his therapist into a discussion about Steven. Alex says that his father was always supportive of him. Encouraging him to just do his best and have fun, a mindset that Alex has trouble applying to his life. He goes on to tell the therapist that his father's mindset is a little naive. There are winners and losers in life, he says, which describes his own approach and connects back to the way Alex operates in absolutes. There's winning and losing. Right and wrong. People are either smart or they're stupid. BUT! Alex has a bit of a breakthrough when his therapist asks if that means he thinks his father is a weak man.

"I used to think that way. I'm embarrassed by it now. That I could be so blind to his strength. He has great love, my father. Not just for his family but for life. He doesn't have to make you wrong for him to be right. He doesn't have to make you a loser to be a winner himself. I wish I was more like my father." Very nice. A+, Alex.

Then, at last, we get to Alex meeting Greg! Another memory scene, Alex is back in Mrs. Leahy's 1st grade class, where Greg has just started as a new student. Alex goes to introduce himself, but Greg already knows all about Alex from what the other kids told him. "They say it's great here," Greg says, "All you have to do is just keep quiet; sooner or later Keaton rattles off the answer." Alex appears sad at hearing this, but you can tell he's used to it. Greg asks how Alex knows so much, and Alex tells him that he takes some night classes at Ohio State.

Greg is about to go out and play for recess then, but he stops and asks if Alex wants to come play too. Alex's reaction is very indicative of a kid who literally never gets invitations to play with his classmates.

Greg follows this up by asking if Alex even knows how to play. Alex replies to this by explaining that he usually skips recess and stays inside to help Mrs. Leahy prepare the following day's assignments. So...no. Alex does not know how to play. Greg enthusiastically tells him there's a snowball fight happening on the playground, and does Alex know how to make a good snowball? Alex does not. Greg very happily offers to show him, and they race off together. And you can tell that aside from Skippy (who is younger and not in the same grade) that Alex was shown very little kindness by his classmates until Greg came along. That he was pretty much relegated to talking to and spending time with adults instead, since his own peers rejected him. :((

We return from the memory back to the session, where Alex is lamenting that the very foundation of his life is crumbling beneath him. The therapist asks if he believes in God, but Alex doesn't want to talk about that. His therapist apologizes and tells him to continue. They have a back and forth with Alex yelling that this whole thing is a waste of his time. He doesn't feel like he's getting anything out of therapy, and is frustrated by all the questions and attempts to get inside his head. BUT! This is immediately followed by another moment of progress.

The therapist asks, "What is it that you want, Alex? What is it you're looking for?"

"I just wanna feel...the way I felt when I was a little boy. That feeling of security. That feeling of safety. Coming home to my house on a cold, rainy night, I'd see the light on in the kitchen window, and I knew there was no place else I wanted to be. The colder I got, and the wetter I got, the more I enjoyed it. Because I knew in two minutes, I was gonna be in that kitchen, safe and warm."

He mentions how he would sometimes fake a cough or a sneeze when he would get home in order to get some extra attention from his mother. Now this is where we really start getting to the good stuff. Really begin to see what makes Alex who he is at his core, and where so many of his insecurities and anxieties stem from. We return to a flashback with Elyse and a young Alex, who is coming home from time spent out in the rain and is employing his "faking sick" technique to get some extra love. I have to include gifs because the look he flashes to the camera is one of the best parts of the episode.

The rest of the memory plays out. Elyse dotes on Alex, giving him hot cocoa and asking how his day in kindergarten went. We're then reminded that, despite taking night classes and being able to converse like an adult, Alex is still very much a 5-year-old child. He excitedly asks his mother if they can "sing the song," and they share a lovely moment together where they sing the nursery rhyme "Where is Thumbkin?"

This is another one of those scenes that has a strong connection to the "grown-up" Alex we see throughout the series. There is a scene in one episode of college-aged Alex lying with his head in his mother's lap as she reads "Peter Rabbit" to him and his little brother Andy. It's little Andrew who has to convince Alex to give their mom a break after Alex has made her read the story 3 times already. And in "How Do You Sleep", where Alex deals with a crippling bout of stress-induced insomnia, it's only when his mother wraps him in her arms and tells him the story of "The Three Little Pigs" (his request) that he's finally able to sleep.

It's just. Something Alex really never outgrows. He continues to take comfort in the things of his childhood. When life overwhelms him, he leans heavily on the safety he felt as a young boy. And neither Steven nor Elyse question this at any point or try to dissuade him away from these "childish" things, and instead pretty easily indulge him. (This is where an argument can be made for their parenting style actually hurting Alex in some ways, in that they tend to default to enveloping him in a protective shield rather than teaching him how to better cope with the world, but I digress. For the most part, it is nice and shows just how much they love him.)

The memory leaves Alex a little sad as he realizes that he can never truly go back to that time in his life. But hey. Hey, remember in my last post how I mentioned that there are times Alex reverts to calling Elyse "Mommy"? And how this whole part of the episode here is Alex talking about how he desperately wants to go back to the safety and security he had as a child? Yeah, big ol' connection between the two. We are. Unpacking a lot here. It has taken 21 years to get this guy professional help, people.

Anywho, Nick wanders into Alex's brain next! Yayyy, Nick! Alex, however, is like, "What are you doing here??" and tries to shoo Nick out of his thoughts. But Nick suggests that maybe Alex is just afraid to confront the side of himself that he has in common with Nick. That wild, carefree side that Alex works to snuff out any time it threatens to make an appearance. We return to more memories and have that great scene of Alex jamming out in his room (in secret) to "Born to Be Wild," AND THEN that wonderful memory of 14-year-old Alex and Greg singing to "Light My Fire" by The Doors.

This is the first we've seen of Greg since the flashback of him meeting Alex in first grade, and it's clear they've grown incredibly close since then. Alex is a guy whose favorite music is jazz and elevator music, so it takes a real good buddy to bring out this side of him. Greg is also a "cool guy"--not the type you would expect to pick the class outcast who wears a tie everywhere as his friend. But there they are. Greg is a good guy who took Alex under his wing, taught him how to play, and helped him experience what it's like to be a carefree kid. Greg is the one who treated Alex like he was "normal" in an environment otherwise filled with people who either thought he was "special" or, in the case of his peers, "weird."

After their little singing session, Greg goes to leave, but Alex hurries over and grabs him, begging him not to go. Just stay here with him. Stay with him forever. Greg says that "Two 14-year-old guys should be able to say goodbye without crying."

Alex desperately tries to explain that they aren't really 14. "Well, you are now. You are now, but in a blink, you're gonna be 21 like me. And you're gonna walk out the front door of this house, and you're gonna get killed in a car accident." He grabs Greg in a hug, but Greg pulls away and leaves. Alex is left crying, shouting how unfair it is that Greg is dead. The camera pans across the stage then, the light hitting each person from Alex's memories as they share a few words with him that connect back to their initial conversations we saw. (Obsessed with Nick's just being, "Ayyy".)

As the lights all fade again, we get to one of my favorite parts of the episode. Andy enters the scene! And while most of you reading this are probably familiar with the show, I know some of you aren't and just like to read about Alex anyway, so I'll take the time to tell you that Alex is very close with his little brother. They're the best of friends, and Andy thinks Alex is just the greatest guy in the world. They wear matching sweater vests, read books, and watch Wall Street Week together. Alex loves Andy SO MUCH. So I just love the fact that here, where Alex has reached this low point, it's Andy who wanders into his brain to comfort him. It's Andy who sees his big brother crying and offers to kiss his "owie" to make it better.

It kills me. Of all the people he could have thought up in this moment, it's Andrew that Alex wants there with him. Alex tells Andy that he'll be home soon after he ties up a few more loose ends, and Andy leaves. We're nearing the end of the episode now, and Alex finds the strength to finally speak openly about the fears Greg's death have instilled in him.

"I don't want to die. And I don't mean I don't want to die young. I don't wanna die middle-aged, I don't wanna die old...I don't wanna die. Ever."

"Do you believe in God, Alex?" the therapist asks a second time, and Alex realizes that he can't keep avoiding the question. It's really the core of it all, he knows. How he's going to move forward regarding Greg's death and his own anxieties of mortality will be determined by the beliefs, or lack thereof, that he holds. Whether he thinks things simply happen randomly or if there is a "reason" for things. It's natural that a major death would bring anybody to examine their beliefs, and so it's fitting that the topic would come up. Alex gives it some thought.

The analytical side of him says no, Alex begins, going into a little speech about how there are no annual reports he can look at. Nothing that can tell him definitively that there's someone out there in charge of the universe. But at the same time, he acknowledges that there are things about life and the world that he can't explain with logic. "Mountains and oceans and Skippy getting dressed by himself," he says. Mysteries that he just can't wrap his head around or explain on his own. Ultimately, he concludes that, yes, he does believe in God. But not a mean God like on TV and not a groovy one like Mallory believes. "I think God is gentle and forgiving," he says getting emotional.

His therapist is surprised at Alex's answer. He didn't think a "bottom-line" guy like him would believe. Alex says that he's nervous about it. He likes to know things concretely. "I just got a feeling that you keep getting tested on this one," he says. His therapist asks him what he does now. Where does he go from here? And Alex gives a beautiful reply.

"Well, Greg's dead, and I'm alive. And I can't change that. But I can keep his memory alive. I can take his sense of humor and his energy and his warmth, and I can make it my own. I can be the best Alex Keaton that I can be, and I can use the gifts I've been given. And I can take time to appreciate the beauty in this life. And I can be gentle, and I can be forgiving and thoughtful."

This whole thing is wrapping up, and Alex has made some peace with what happened. He's still crying, but he's in a better place now that he's got an idea of what he wants moving forward. And the thing is...Alex will continue to struggle with being gentle, forgiving, and thoughtful. That's just a fact. We're not going to come out of this with an entirely new Alex P. Keaton, because he is who he is. But he will try. And those moments where he lets those walls down and puts others before himself really allow that gentle, forgiving, thoughtful Alex to shine through. And now we have a little more context for those times where he isn't being so sensitive or thoughtful or is only concerned with being the best and winning at any cost. We've seen the people and things that shaped him and can see why Michael J. Fox has--very fittingly--described Alex as "a mansion made out of rice paper." The guy is confident, pompous, brilliant...and incredibly fragile.

This episode ends so spectacularly that I'm simply going to insert those last few seconds here because. It's just that good.

And...there we have it. Episode over. We now have the inside scoop of what makes APK tick. And you've got the inside scoop of why this episode is counted among my top 10 favorite FT episodes and why I blab about it here more than others. If you've followed me for a while, you've probably seen me talk about how this was one of the very first episodes of the show I ever saw when I was little and happened to catch a rerun on TV, years before I would ever watch the show in its entirety. I had no context. Just sat there like, "...What is happening to this man?" Wish I could go back in time and tell little me that she would eventually write a DISSERTATION for the episode on her silly little blog.

Well, if you've managed to read this, please imagine me lovingly placing a smiley-face sticker onto your forehead. I did have a lot of fun putting this together, and I appreciate that even a few people might look at it.

[tarlos-spain]

Title: The night took a wrong path

Summary: A nice Saturday evening, the first one Carlos and TK don't have to work and can be together. But TK knows something's wrong when Carlos has left the bar and doesn't answer his message.

Notes: This fic was born for my own event, my Tarlos Bingo Birthday and what people ask for.

In this first oneshot, Carlos and TK have some trouble with two not very nice cops. I've used a language i don't like at all so if you have any trigger with police violence, verbaly or phisically, please don't read this.

Adknowledgements: No way to say thank you to two of the most amazing people in my life right now, @lire-casander and @morganaspendragonss fantastic betas and better friends.

Chapter 04

TK opened the door to the house, hating the idea of getting up from Carlos' side and leaving his boyfriend alone in bed. He needed someone's help, though, and if he didn't want to call 911 to avoid opening a report about what had happened that day, Tommy was his only chance.

He didn't go alone; after all, he had talked to her and his father, and Owen hadn't stood idly by after that conversation.

He couldn't remember ever hearing his son like that. Not even when he'd been in trouble with a substance, or when he'd argued with Alex, nothing sounded like that cracked voice and made him imagine his son crying.

TK hugged him as soon as he arrived and almost dropped into his arms. Owen was ready to pick him up and squeezed his body tightly.

"Thanks for coming so quickly," TK said a moment later, looking at Tommy.

"No problem, what happened?"

"Actually, I don't know. I got home and..." started TK as they made their way to the bedroom.

He would never be able to get that vision of Carlos out of his memory, fully clothed, jacket, shirt, pants, all soaked and clinging to his body and water pouring down on him. His head buried between his legs, his hands on his ears as if trying to avoid hearing something terrible, and he was crying. Carlos was crying and it was clear from his choked sobs that he had been crying for a long time and was exhausted as well as frozen.

He was sleeping, or what was the same, he hadn't woken up since he had fallen unconscious in TK's arms. Since he had picked up the phone to alert his father and his captain, he had already noticed that his fever had started to rise and it had risen fast. That, exhaustion and whatever was on his mind, was going to knock him out for a good while...if not a few hours.

"I've never seen him like this, really. Carlos is strong and confident. Even after Saturday... We talked on Sunday and he told me he didn't want to report it, he was convinced it was for the best and he wasn't afraid."

He sat back down on the bed next to Carlos, while Tommy, who had brought a bag with everything he needed to take care of him, worked, and kept silent. The first thing was to find out how he was doing, or whether, however much Carlos protested, it was better to take him to the hospital.

Owen stayed in the living room, he wanted to give them some privacy, especially since Tommy asked to see the new bruises and take a look at the bruises that Carlos hadn't allowed anyone to see after Saturday night.

"At a glance I'd say they've been done by the same person or persons. I see the same force. They meant to hurt him, but they could have done a lot more damage, at least to the touch I don't notice any broken ribs, and from the color and shape, there doesn't seem to be any internal damage." TK nodded, it was no relief to know that his boyfriend's assailants were experts at hitting; but at least the damage inflicted could have been worse. "Like you said, he has a fever." The thermometer made that clear, when it showed that it was bordering on 102 degrees. "It's possible he'll go a little higher tonight."

"Do you think we should go to the hospital?"

Keep reading on AO3

[dragon-kazansky]

Til death do us part | Helmut Zemo

Bodyguard AU! 🕶

Gender neutral reader

Collage by @realremyd

[Previous chapter] - [Next chapter]

Part 5

Bucky got the Baron back to the hotel without issue. Well, no other issue than the Baron's complaints. Zemo insisted on several occasion that Bucky turn the car back around and they go get you.

Bucky didn't say a single thing to him. He just kept driving. When he pulled up outside of the hotel he climbed out and opened the back door. He grabbed the Baron by the arm, ignoring all his complaining as he escorted him into the building.

Zemo was promptly taken up to his room. He was going to push Bucky off of him, but Bucky had a tight hold on him. Zemo is pushed into his room and Bucky stands in the way of the door. He clasps his hands together in front of him and stands there stoically, facing the Baron.

Zemo glares at him.

"I hired you, you should do I say."

"Our duty is to protect you, and protect you we did."

"You let them behind."

"Our duty comes first," Bucky tells him.

"Your duty involves leaving your colleagues to fall at the hands of armed gangs?" Zemo is fuming.

Granted, Zemo didn't care much for you when you arrived at his home. You weren't the same as your colleagues. You didn't look like bodyguard material. He didn't think you were capable.

He was wrong.

You put your life before his to ensure your job was done. He disrupted that by climbing out of the car and checking on you.

Why had he checked on you?

"You left them to die."

Bucky doesn't say anything, but Helmut picks up on the slight shift of his stance. Bucky felt guilty, as he should, but he also carried out his duty.

Helmut watched as Bucky raised a hand to his ear to listen to whatever was being said.

Bucky lowered his hand and said nothing.

"Well?" Zemo asks.

"They got away. The others are returning here now."

"And Y/N?"

Bucky doesn't answer him. This infuriates the Baron more.

Zemo had been to war. He was Colonel once. He had his own squad. He had seen people die, but to think that someone he hired to protect him had died doing just that, it felt strange to him.

You had given your life for his.

Thirty minutes later, Steve and the other make it to the hotel. Steve knocks on the door, giving the code word they had agreed upon to let them know it was each other. Bucky let's them in.

Zemo stands from where he had been sitting in silence with his own dreaded thoughts.

His room is filled by the other bodyguards.

"Well?" He demands.

"They got away. We fear the will come after you again. I think we should bring your visit to London to an end and rearrange this meeting some other time. We will firmly get in touch with the representatives to discuss this for you. For now, until things cool down, we will keep you here for the reminder of your trip. We suggest you don't leave your hotel room until it's deemed safe again. They are still in the city," Steve says, standing in front of the Baron.

Zemo couldn't give a shit about the meeting.

"And your friend?"

Steve looks a lite taken back that the Baron was even asking. Zemo didn't like you. At least, he didn't before.

"They were escorted to the hospital immediately after the ambulance arrived. They passed out, but are stable."

Zemo's shoulder sink down from their tense position and he casts his eyes off to the side slightly. He sighs softly.

"Take me to them."

"No can do, sir. You are to remain here until the threat level diminishes, Steve replies sternly.

"I demand to see them."

"I'm sorry, sir. We can't allow that."

Zemo hates those words with a passion. He needed to know you were OK. He needed to see you with his own eyes.

He owed you an apology.

Helmut sinks back down into his seat and tilts his head back. He runs his hands down his face and sighs again.

You were stable. He'll take what he can for now, though he isn't happy about it.

"So, you're going to keep me locked in my room?"

"Yes."

That was aspect number two in which he hated. Zemo rises from his seat and makes his way over to the bedroom of his suite. He closes the door behind him.

Once he was gone, the band of bodyguard turn to each other.

"Is Y/N OK?" Clint asks.

"Do you have any idea how hard it was to leave them there and bring him back?" Bucky says.

"They're stable right?" Nat chimes in.

"That was insane," Sam remarks.

Steve holds his hands out in front of him and tries to get them to quiet down.

"Y/N is alright though, right?" Carol asks.

"They're stable. They were shot twice. Once in the shoulder, once in the hip. I don't think they were aiming to kill Y/N, just get them down," Steve says.

"That asshole got out of the car," Bucky tells them.

"He did?" Nat asked.

"Yeah, he went over to Y/N. He looked pretty damn worried too. Did we miss something?" Bucky asks.

"Maybe he feels guilty about being an asshole?" Clint suggests.

"I doubt that," Carol says.

"Whatever it is, don't worry about it. He's safe and Y/N will live. I have to make a call to Stark. Do not let him leave the room," Steve said, making his way outside into the hall.

Bucky stays planted by the door as the other scatter around and wait.

"Y/N was incredibly brave," Nat says, deep in thought.

"They're a brilliant bodyguard, we all know that," Sam says.

"Has Y/N ever been shot before?" Carol asks, trying to think back.

"Yeah, a while ago. It was years ago, back when they started," Sam answered.

"Damn, I remember that," she says, the memory coming back.

"It's going to take a lot more than that to bring our Y/N down," Bucky states.

They all agree.

In his room, Helmut was leaning against the door. He would hear them talking about you. He felt a fool for ever doubting your skills. To hear you had been shot at before made him wonder. You must really love your job if you could get shot at and carry on.

Then again, he should know how that feels.

Not only back in the army, but back on that day too. Walker had taken everything from him as a result of trying to get rid of him, only to fail. He paid the price that day.

He lived. They didn't.

He closes his eyes and tries to block out the horrid images which threatened to flood back into his mind. Sometimes he can see them when he closes his eyes.

You were in much the same position today. It was as if he was seeing it all over again.

Zemo pushes away from the door and falls onto the bed, trying to bury his face in his pillow.

"I don't want to remember," he mutters.

He falls asleep there, still dressed and disheveled. He sleeps right through dinner, which is left at his bedroom door untouched.

Most of the bodyguards had excused themselves from the room, returning to either their room or the hall.

Steve and Sam remained in Zemo's room.

It had been six hours since the shooting in central London. It was all over the news, which Steve had on, but kept the volume low.

There weren't any shots of the actual shooting, reporters only getting there after the event was over, but witness statements from people in the surrounding buildings gave a pretty good description of what went down there.

No one mentioned your sustained injury.

He was rather glad about that. You could recover in piece.

He hadn't told anyone yet about the phone call to Tony. He wasn't quite prepared to share the details until he had a chance to speak to you. He would do so in a couple of days. He had contacted the hospital and they agreed to call him when you were ready for visitors.

Sam looks a the untouched plate of food.

"You think he's going to eat that?"

The food had been brought up a short while ago. This would be the second meal they ordered that he hadn't touched.

"You can have it. I'll get him something when he comes out."

Sam picks up the plate.

"What do you think is wrong with him? He wasn't like this before."

Steve shrugs.

"I don't know. Something must have happened between them out there. Yesterday he couldn't understand what Y/N was even doing with us, today he's locked himself away because they saved him. I don't know what's going on."

Sam sighs softly.

"I'm at least glad he isn't hating them now though. Y/N is more than capable of protecting that asshsole. Hell, they proved it."

Steve just nods silently.

His phone begins to ring. Steve gets up and goes to answer it on the other side of the room.

Sam watches in interest.

Steve hangs up and turns back around to Sam.

"Y/N is awake. I'm going to go see them. Keep Zemo here. I'll call you later."

Sam nods and watches Steve go.

There were no words to describe how relieved Sam felt right now. You were going to be just fine. He knew you would be.

Probably best he didn't mention it to Zemo just yet.

@thesuitkovian @justfangirlthingies @belle82devart @zemosimp420 @anteroom-of-death @silverlambcaptain @that-stupid-head-tilt-thing @lieutenantn @daniielbruhl @awesomesauce-abbie @latenightartist-author @lazygurl05 @rumblelibrary @nonamec0s @shura-gorl @ginger-abreu @caligrl1992 @livvyshmiv @luciadiosa @vverliebt @tatooineisdry @charistory @somethingthatsaysbubbles @apparrio @alex-the-nb @thewrongkhristol

[gra-sonas]

In the kiss scene, what’s the line Michael says about getting clearance into deep sky? That part of the exchange confused me.

He says

"I completely get the literal definition of an alien might not get clearance to tap it with a screwdriver."

"It" being the Lockhart Machine. I think what Michael's saying here is, that he understands that Alex might not get clearance for Michael to enter Deep Sky and examine the Lockhart Machine in person, bc Deep Sky could be afraid of how either the machine reacts to an actual alien's touch, or what Michael could do by accessing whatever the machine would reveal to him.

In short: Michael appreciates that Alex told him about Deep Sky, and the Lockhart Machine, but he also understands that there are possibly rules in place that will prevent Alex from letting Michael work with him on the machine. And, and that's the most important thing: Michael won't hold it against Alex! Alex in return promises, that he'll share everything he learns about the machine with Michael regardless.

It's a turning point in their relationship, really. Alex has always been used to keeping his military job, and even Project Shepard to a large degree from Michael. In order to keep Michael safe, and also bc Michael always resented the Air Force (any kind of military, really).

They are truly meeting in the middle here, though. Alex opens up about his new work place, Michael acknowledges that Alex might not be able to share everything with him bc of rules, and Alex reassures Michael that he'll share all the details with him anyway.

They've come so far in this one episode, finally understanding where the other's coming from. Excuse me if I

[lihikainanea]

No you not bad at answering asks at all, I enjoy reading your answers to people :). It was after your answered an anon about your opinion of Gustaf and b fire it Bill. I feel like you good at reading people. So I asked if you could write your opinion about Alexander and Valter as well.

Oh sweet nani, are you trying to get me into trouble? I feel like these things always get me into trouble, because I'm viewed as being far too harsh and judgmental. So let me preface this by saying that I think we, as collective humans, all have traits that are absolutely abhorrent. We all have aspects of our personality that are just the shittiest of shitty. I don't think any of those things make us bad people--we are not defined by our faults. Our faults are what make us human, and beautifully complex.

I think I wrote a bit about Alex in the past--you may be able to find it if you search his name in my blog--but I don't know, I have a hard time faulting Alex for any of his misdemeanours because I think he's alarmingly honest about them. Alex is a good time. Alex seems like all he wants, all he looks for, is a good time--and he's upfront about that. If you fall for him, then that's on you--because he told you what he was looking for, and that he wouldn't change. Of all of them, I think Alex would be the type of guy I'd be able to have the funniest friendship with. He doesn't seem to take himself too seriously, and in general he just seems like a good times. Fuckboys ain't bad, if they present themselves as fuckboys. There's a weird sincerity there. The fuckboys I want to fucking smack senseless are the ones masquerading as nice guys, the ones who get your hopes up even WHEN THEY KNOW that they don't want anything serious. Fuckboys like that will lie to get what they want out of you, and will break your heart.

But an upfront fuckboy? He'll tell you he's just in it for quick kicks. And if you're game, then awesome--it'll be the best time of your life. But don't expect anything more.

(I, coincidentally, had a great dream about Alex last night. I think we'd be good pals).

I feel like Alex is also the one who openly acknowledges that his last name opened doors for him, and he's the only one who ain't mad about it. I'll never understand the rest of the brood for being so vehemently against that concept, and being mad at it. Alex knows that some of his big break came from his dad--but then he took that, ran with it, and earned his chops on his own. I feel like if you so much as mention family to the rest of the acting bros, they'll bite your fucking head off and it's oddly pretentious and a whole lot idealistic.

Alex has a self-awareness about him that is very different from Gustaf's. Gustaf is introspective, thoughtful, wise. Alex is just here for a good time, not a long time--and while he has a sensitive side no doubt, while he absolutely has that self-loathing side that all actors need to succeed--he also recognizes that it's mildly ridiculous. His whole world is mildly ridiculous, and he knows that.

Valter is....Valter is a funny one. I think he craves attention, all so he can pretend he hates it. Valter doesn't need to engage the way he does-but he chooses to, and then he chooses to be mad about it. I feel like in a lot of this rhetoric, people and fans forget that so much of this is a choice. You choose to be seen. You choose to act and react. I think it's any normal person's right to have social media and to post whatever they want on it, but those rules don't ever apply to someone in the public eye. They just don't. Just like they don't apply to me in the line of work I do--is it my right, to have a very strong social media presence and broadcast every part of my life? As a person, yes thats my right. But in my line of work--no, it's not. I'm not allowed to, because it's not a good idea. And even BEFORE my line of work, when I was dating a famous athlete--I chose not to be seen, so I wasn't seen. Fans messaged me all the time, they knew who I was--and I just didn't engage, because that was my choice. I didn't WANT the attention.

So...Tired of people asking you about your brothers on social media? Then just..don't engage. No sense in gaslighting yourself, pal. Valter has some maturing to do, some growing up to do, but he acts and reacts exactly how I would expect a member of a very rich, successful family would. He feels slighted, he has a chip on his shoulder and is alarmingly defensive about his family name giving him opportunities. I don't know, I like the kid, but I want to tell him to shut up and grow up sometimes. There's nothing quite like someone choking on his silver spoon as he tells you about how he didn't grow up in privilege. Bruh, sit down. He's a good guy, and his cockiness or arrogance will grow out of him. I'm pretty sure most dudes ain't worth their salt until they're at least 30, and I don't know a single rich kid who DIDN'T act like Valter at that age. He's amusing, he's goofy, I like his sense of humour most of the time. Reality will hit him some way or another and I think he'll be a far more well-rounded human after that--just like we all would be.

[echo-three-one]

Whatever It Takes

While Soap, France and the two hostages try to recover, Gary stands by for action. It's a waiting game before they make their next move. Can Gary's lungs handle the training?

Previous Chapter : Reunited

Chapter 6 to another story made by Ray (echo-three-one) Comments and Reviews appreciated! I hope you enjoy! Love you all ❤️

A Walk to Remember

Gary "Roach" Sanderson

Task Force 141

Task Force 141 - Briefing Room

Gary was able to share his raccoon story, but he wasn't contented. He actually wanted a certain someone to listen to it. He wanted to see her smile. He knew their time together was short but he grew curious about the blonde girl. He felt concern, almost guilty that he triggered her massive headache. He wanted to apologize, but since then she's still unconscious. Guess he'll have to wait.

"The concern is that Augustus' squad had been forcibly and convincingly recruiting troops from a local border militia and informants reported that they have siezed their small village camp." The caterpillar-moustached general briefed, gaining murmurs from the rest of the squad.

"We'll be sending Alex tomorrow to negotiate with the squad and if he's successful. We could formally assist them and take back their base, crippling Augustus forces. Gathering intel on the village is a bonus." he added, making everyone else nod. Gary looked determined to help out, and for now all he could to is to train more and have faith in Alex's skills.

"That's odd." Ghost nudged from beside him.

"Yeah?" he replied quickly.

"I know that face… Something's bothering the bug. Come on. Spill." he whispered. Ghost may look cold and distant at one glance but he tries hard to show concern, especially for Roach, who has been there to absorb his problems ever since they met.

"It's the mission." Gary lied and he was not convincing at that.

"Sod off mate. I can tell you're lying. Is it the girl? It's always about the girl." he teased. Gary found himself speechless as he puffed his cheeks.

"Yeah. We'll you're bothered about France too. And threatened about how close they are with Soap." he whispered, Ghost fell silent and stopped bugging him. Gary wanted to quickly apologize for hitting a nerve, but he turned his focus to Shepherd.

"That's about all of it for today. I want all available squad members at the training areas now. We're not going to let that same blunder happen again." he scolded as everyone silently left. Ghost walked behind Gary, his quiet demeanor was normal but somewhat odd.

"You think she's interested in him? They used to fight a lot." he muttered and Gary turned to him.

"Look mate, I have no idea what's going on around them. They just met, and I'm no love doctor but if you're really into her then take small steps. Get to know her, talk to her, those kind of things. Then you'll finally get the answer you're looking for." Roach advised and Ghost actually showed agreement by nodding as they continue to the training room.

Task Force 141 - Jogging Oval

THE NEXT DAY

It's the fourth time that Roach lost to Ghost on a one lap sprint. A sign that he still has a lot of lung endurance exercises to do and he's still a long way to go to master holding a sniper rifle. He looked down, hands on his knees and sweat dropped from his forehead as he panted heavily.

"Roach! You okay?" a familiar scottish voice called from nearby. He looked and saw Samantha, Maxine, France and Soap together early in the morning. Samantha was pushing Maxine's wheelchair while France pushed Soap's. It looked like he still can't get up properly yet and might not make it on the next mission. His eyes now turned to Maxine who was looking at Samantha, laughing at something. Her smile brought happiness to Roach's face and he felt like he could run another lap.

"I'm fine." Gary replied with a thumbs up, jogging toward them, taking France's spot.

"Where are you going?" he asked.

"Oh. Nowhere. The nurse said we could use a little sunshine." Soap replied and the rest of them nodded. Maxine turned to Gary and smiled.

"You. You helped me back there. Eased the pain from the sprain. What's your name?" she asked. Gary took the time to let her voice fill his mind.

"Gary." he replied.

"Thank you Gary." she smiled and turned back to Samantha, resuming their conversation. France quickly nudged him to which he winced in pain.

"Whatever you're thinking, it goes through me first. I'm her sister after all." she warned, Gary pretended to look confused but there was no use hiding to a woman. They could sense intentions a mile away. 

"Does she um… remember you?" Gary asked. France's face shifted from threatening to sad.

"Not really." She sighed. "But she will recover and recognize me someday." 

"What happened to his leg? Hey hey Is that Alex?! Samantha it's Alex! Heyyy Pretty boy! Over here!" Maxine excitedly called him. He was walking to the hangar with his backpack and gym bag, looking focused. Everyone else were confused as to how Maxine knew Alex and Gary started to feel odd about it.

"Hey… um… you." Alex greeted awkwardly, smiling at the group.

"Alex. This is Samantha over here. I remember you looking for him at the bar. You know, a childhood friend you want to reconnect with?" She excitedly winked as he looked at Samantha. Gary could sense a little something going on between the two.

"Max, I don't know no Alex from my childhood…" Samantha muttered and Maxine frowned. This wasn't the kind of reunion she expected. It was a shame that that was the last thing she could remember.

"Yeah. I think you may have mistaken me or something. But I did look for her, returned a pendant she dropped back then." Alex replied and ran back to the airstrip.

"I swear I remember him correctly. I know full well which memories hurt me." Maxine whispered to herself as Samantha rubbed her back.

"He does look familiar. But then again I saw him back then and mistook him as a stalker. I mean, look at those tattooes. Turns out he's just there to return my pendant. It's a huge coincidence he works here though. Like one in a million." she mused as they quietly watched him walk away.

Gary started pushing Soap and the rest followed. He was happy Maxine's all peppy and well, but he can't help but feel jealous about the way she reacted upon seeing Alex. He wished she'd do the same for him. But who was he for her? Nothing but a random stranger.

"Huh?" Maxine asked and Samantha just nodded, making her quiet and realize things. Soap looked at Roach and they just exchanged weird glances and shrugged. Mentally noting that they'll have to talk to Alex about this after the mission.

~

"So, any new news?" Ghost stood by Gary as he gulped down a bottle of water.

"Not really. Except from the fact that Maxine claims to know Alex and Samantha knows Alex. And also Maxine is Francine's sister?!" Gary exhaled leaving Ghost in a momentary confusion.

"Wai.wai wait.. For real?!" he asked. Gary downed another bottle and nodded.

"Yeah. When briefing told us Alex was somehow connected, he was actually all over the place. I want answers from him." 

"Yeah. So where is he?" 

"He's already on his way back to Germany. Let's hope he convinces a whole army to help us out." Gary wondered as Ghost nudged him back to the gym. 

"Let's train that lungs of yours again."

All Gary could do was groan in  frustration as he followed Ghost to the gym.

"Man, Nero's a mysterious guy huh. Did you know Alex helped catch the CIA Mole he's working with. The one that supplied him the serum that's behind all of this." Gary overheard two random soldiers at the gym discuss. He couldn't help but stop whatever he was doing and asked them for more details.

"They already publicized the report on the website. They're actually desperate for any Nero-like activity to report to them immediately." one of them informed, Gary turned to Ghost and they both nodded, quickly running to the Base's library.

"Here it is. Alex's report." Gary muttered as Ghost peeked beside him, they slowly scrolled across pages of information written by Alex himself. He didn't hide anything from them, except from thr fact that they're after her because she had memories of an IP Address. Then further through the report they concluded that they weren't successful in extracting it. Then at the end of the file was a footnote, regarding Samantha's state. It read:

Due to a special favor promised by Samantha's father, he has authorize to apply an MK Ultra procedure to her, whose main intention is to Alter her memories of the IP Address along with the events that happened prior to kidnapping.

"So that's why she didn't know Alex." Gary realized.

"Hence the responses earlier." Ghost added.

"Maxine wasn't mentioned in this footnote this means her memories weren't rewritten." Gary spleculated. Ghost scratched his head in confusion.

"This whole thing is nuts." Was all Ghost could say.

Task Force 141 - Quarters

2000H

"Same routine tommorow, okay?" Ghost grinned and it made Gary groan.

"Fine. My lungs are going to hate you for eternity, Simon." he complained and the trainer just chuckled.

"We didn't have the chance to talk to Soap today. He surely has a lot of new information about the two." 

"Nah. More like more information on France." Ghost retorted fake chuckling.

"If he's ever in the competition, I can judge that he's one step ahead." Gary remarked, attempting to tease Ghost who was already leaning away from him.

"Rest up, Bug. Another big day tomorrow." he muttered, almost angry.

"Yeah. Big day."

Next Chapter : Just Like Old Times

tagging the notification squad

@enderio

@samatedeansbroccoli

@whimsywispsblog

@smokeywhalee

@beemybee

@ricinbach

[movedyoakkemae]

alex's second "therapy" session. / do not reblog.

Dr. Feng: Alex, the last time we spoke, you told me how your uncle, Ian Rider, prepared you to be a spy. How were you actually recruited into MI6?

Alex: I don't want to tell you.

Dr. Feng: Why not?

Alex: It's classified.

Dr. Feng: You remember, then.

Alex: Yes.

Dr. Feng: It's important to go over these details. I need to know that your memory is functioning properly... that there hasn't been any damage as a result of the injury to your head. And as I've explained to you, I work for MI6 too. Have you forgotten that?

Alex: Why are you keeping me here? I want to leave.

Dr. Feng: Then the sooner we get through this, the sooner we can make that happen.

A long pause. Subject trying to remain silent.

Alex: All right. I was recruited after Ian died. At first, they told me he had been killed in a car accident. It seems to me that MI6 tells quite a lot of lies about car accidents.

Dr. Feng: You think I'm lying to you?

Alex: I didn't say that.

Dr. Feng: Go on.

Alex: I tried to find out how Ian had been killed and that led me to MI6. I nearly got myself killed... twice. The first time, I hid in a car crusher and they started it up. And then I climbed out a window to get into Ian's office.

Dr. Feng: And what did you find?

Alex: Nothing. The whole thing was a waste of time. It was a test. Alan Blunt had already decided he wanted to use me.

Dr. Feng: Who is Alan Blunt?

Alex: He's the chief executive of MI6 Special Operations. If you work for MI6, how come you don't know that?

Dr. Feng: I do know that, Alex. I'm just testing your memory.

Alex: Alan Blunt needed someone to investigate a company called Sayle Enterprises, which had a manufacturing plant down in Cornwall. That was where they were making a brand-new computer -- the Stormbreaker -- and the owner, Herod Sayle, had offered to give one, free, to every school in the UK. Blunt knew there was something dodgy about him and he asked me to check him out. I went into the plant under a false name. There was a boy who had won some competition to visit the factory and I took his place.

Dr. Feng: What happened to Herold Sayle?

Alex: Somebody shot him. It wasn't me. I never wanted to kill anyone. And when I was sent on my missions, I was never given any weapons, nothing that could seriously hurt someone. Mr. Blunt never let me have a gun and I was glad about that. I'm fourteen. It's bad enough that I have to lie to all my friends about what I do. I didn't want to be a spy and I still don't. If they asked me to kill people, I'd refuse. I'm not sure I'd be able to live with myself if I did that.

To be honest with you, if I had a choice, I'd walk away. A lot of the kids at my school would think it's cool to be a spy and to have adventures and miss class and all the rest of it. But I was never given any choice. So far, I've been lucky, but one day I'm not going to be able to walk away. I'm going to end up in a real hospital... or dead.

And what's really sick is that if I get killed, Blunt won't even care. He'll be annoyed. It'll be inconvenient. But in a way, he and Mrs. Jones are as bad as the rest of them. They're using me the same way they'd use a gun or a hand grenade or whatever. I'm just a weapon. A secret weapon. And when the day comes that they can't use my anymore, they'll simply find someone else. They'll forget about me.

Dr. Feng: I'm sure that's not true, Alex.

Alex: I'm tired, I don't want to talk anymore. I want to go back to my room.